Choosing a surrogate that is a good match for you and deciding on what questions to ask a surrogate can be difficult. The choice you make will affect your entire experience moving forward with the surrogacy process. At Family Creations, we do our best to put as much information about a surrogate out in the open and make the choice for the intended parents as stress-free and easy as possible. After our thorough screening process, surrogates create an online profile to give you a peek into what they are like. Intended parents can register to view our entire database of surrogate profiles to make their initial choice. They will then have the opportunity to meet in person with the surrogate and their partner if they have one. In this meeting, it is crucial to interview your possible surrogate so you can decide if they will be the best match. Let’s look at some of the most common questions to ask a surrogate.
What made you decide to become a surrogate?
This is likely your first question to ask a surrogate for all intended parents. Most surrogates will answer this question in two ways. They are doing it out of the kindness of their heart and/or they could really use the monetary assistance of the compensation. Surrogacy can give a mother the opportunity to stay at home to care for the child she already has.
How was your previous pregnancy?
It is ideal for a surrogate to have had a smooth and complication-free previous pregnancy. Asking them to tell you about their experience can give you an idea of what to expect with the next pregnancy.
How do you see us communicating throughout the pregnancy?
This is an important question to ask a surrogate because they may have a very different idea than what you and your partner envision. Some people may only want to communicate with you during doctor appointments. Others may want to text you every day with updates. And what will the communication level be like after the birth? Will you want to still have them be a part of your lives as the baby grows older?
How do you feel about multiples, reduction, and termination?
This is a question to ask your surrogate that you must agree on. Multiples are a common occurrence in IVF. In order to raise the chance that pregnancy will take, two embryos can be transferred to the surrogate. Usually, one embryo will attach and the remaining embryo is absorbed into the surrogate’s body. This is sometimes referred to as vanishing twins. But, this is not always the case and both embryos can develop into babies. There are even cases where two embryos were implanted and one happened to split into two because twins run in the mother’s family. The result was three baby boys, two identical and one fraternal. As you can imagine, carrying more than one baby to term is more difficult and can cause more discomfort for the surrogate. Some surrogates would prefer a reduction to remove an embryo.
Sometimes, embryos develop into fetuses with developmental issues. In these cases, intended parents have the option to terminate the pregnancy and try again for a healthy child. You must be on the same page as the surrogate to be a good match for each other.
What is your normal diet like?
This is an important question to ask a surrogate. Perhaps there are certain foods you don’t want them to eat and others that you feel are extremely important to give your growing baby proper nourishment. Maybe you want them to only eat organic fruits and vegetables to diminish the chances of pesticides affecting the baby. As another example, it is recommended that pregnant women don’t eat lunch meat. Will they follow regular recommendations for diet during pregnancy?
What do your partner and children think of your surrogacy plans?
It is best if everyone in the surrogate’s family is on board with the surrogacy. That way, they will be surrounded by positivity and support that will help them through any issues throughout the process.
Finding what questions to ask a surrogate and making the final decision can be hard. Let our professional staff and experts help guide you to finding your perfect surrogate match. Register online for free to view our surrogate profiles today.