How to Talk to Your Children about Surrogacy

by Admin on July 23, 2018

Explaining the story of your child’s conception can be a very difficult subject for many parents who have children born through surrogacy. It is absolutely normal to have feelings of discomfort or uneasiness about how, or if, to approach the story of your child’s creation. You may be having fears of how your child will react, feelings of distance from your child or instances of them acting out after disclosing the information. You may wonder if they will consider you their “real” parent if they know the truth.  Again, these are valid concerns that you may have, but it will be okay.

Research has shown that waiting to tell your child the origins of their birth until later in life will cause them to act out compared to children who are told their unique birth story earlier on. There is no right or wrong way to tell the story, it just should feel comfortable to you as you tell it.

Some tips we recommend when talking to your children is to keep it simple. Don’t try to make it overcomplicated or overthink the situation. Kids appreciate the simple, straight-to-the-point information. Another tip is not to offer more information than is necessary. Of course, we recommend that you tell the truth, answer all their questions and avoid lying or omitting information. What we are saying is to spare them of all the specific details about surrogacy or any adult topic. This is where the trouble usually starts. If a parent gets nervous and starts spewing information, things start going awry. Even if you have a lot to say, keep it to the bare minimum, yet answer their questions in the most truthful way possible by keeping it short and sweet. As they get older, you can provide more details as their age becomes more appropriate.

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