Family Creations’ Surrogate Q&A

by Admin on April 30, 2012

As many as 1 in 6 couples are faced with infertility, and studies show that at least 90 million people across the world are unable to conceive children for one reason or another. Many of these same people desire creating a family yet are faced with the daunting possibility that the road toward parenthood may be winding. While infertility can cause some bumps in the road, there are many options available to ensure that baby dreams become a baby reality. With the help of egg and sperm donors as well as surrogates, people and couples around the world are given the gift of life every day. We asked some of our own gestational surrogates to answer several questions to get some insight on why they chose to become surrogate mothers.

Q: What first intrigued you about surrogacy?

A: I had a hard time conceiving my first son and I had always wanted to be a mother so it was devastating to think I wouldn’t be able to do that.  So, to be able to help another couple to become parents and love that precious gift was amazing!

– H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

A: I have 3 amazing children and I thought to myself “WOW.  This is something I could do to make a huge difference in a couple’s life and it enables me to make an income from home so I can spend these important years at home with my kids.  I am able to help in my kindergartener’s class room and have time for play dates and just enjoy my kids.

– S.G. San Jose Surrogate

A: I was first drawn to the idea of Surrogacy after having my son. I can’t imagine my life without him, he is my everything. I thought about the many people out in the world that couldn’t have children, and how I would feel if I was unable to have my son. Being a surrogate is a small way that I can help someone, a way that I can give the gift of life and love. I am honored to be able to do this for someone; I would hope that if I were unable to have a baby that this would be a possibility for me.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

Q:  What were your initial concerns about becoming a surrogate?

A: I was concerned about who I would be working with.  I wanted to make sure that I felt like this baby would be loved and taken care of throughout his/her life.  I was also concerned about the possibility of having to have a c-section, which really scares me.

-H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

A: Becoming attached to the baby before it was born.  Really for me though, throughout the entire process I just have this mind set I’m helping someone else, so I never got attached to the baby in that way.

– D.F. San Diego Surrogate

A: I was initially concerned with what my family and friends would think/say. Although that was not the deciding factor for me, it was important nonetheless.

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate

A: My initial concern about surrogacy was, “Will I be able to get pregnant on my own again after?” I wasn’t really sure of the medical process and wasn’t sure if I could get pregnant again. Both Family Creations and the Stanford Medical team assured me that this is a very safe procedure and I could have another child of my own after.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

Q: What was your family’s reaction when you told them about your decision to become a surrogate and how do they feel about it now that you’ve completed the process?

A: My dad wondered why I would put my body through that and the rest of my family was concerned about my emotional attachment to the baby once he/she was delivered.  How I would handle handing over the baby.

-H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

A: Almost everyone was surprised that I had actually taken steps to do it, although no one was surprised that I had the willingness. Overall, they are supportive of my decision and trust that anything I do will be for the good in the end.

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate

A: My family was surprised. It’s kind of a big announcement. People may need a few minutes to process the information. My mother was very supportive, and like everyone in my family had one very important question, ‘Is the baby going to be related to you?’ Of course my answer was no, no relation to me. That put their minds at rest and gave them the comfort to support me.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

A: My family was very surprised and they definitely questioned how I would feel after.  But they have always been very supportive and that’s all I can ask for.

– D.F. San Diego Surrogate

Q: How did you explain surrogacy to your children?

A: I only have 1 child old enough to understand it at all. She is 5.  And we talked about how some mommies have “broken tummies” and can’t have babies inside them and that My tummy works really well and if we help people in life it’s a very good thing.  And I also told her that after we give the babies to their mommy we are going to Disneyland for a week to celebrate our good deed.  And for a 5 yr old it worked perfectly.  She is very that were helping someone.

– S.G. San Jose Surrogate

A: My son is only 14 months old. By the time I am pregnant and have the baby I still don’t think he will understand that anything is different. He may notice mommy getting,” big”. When he is older and we look back on photo memories I want to tell him all about my exciting journey.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

A: My 3 year old didn’t understand much, told him a baby was sleeping in my belly and his mommy and daddy would take him home with them when he woke up.  My 5 yr old understood completely.  Told him the mtb.’s belly was broken so mommy was taking care of the baby until he was big enough to go home with his mommy and daddy.  It helped that they met the ip’s and got to know them.

– H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

Q: What and/or who helped you understand and become comfortable the process?

A: My initial interaction with the Coordinator (Family Creations) that was assigned to me was amazing. She made me feel confident and secure with the process. She was always available to answer questions for me.

– G.A. Anaheim Surrogate

A: I did a lot of research on my own. I also joined a discussion group and asked a lot of questions to surrogates. The agency (Family Creations) did an amazing job with helping me understand the process and what to expect.

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate

A: Talking about any concerns with Julia Alkire (Family Creations) was very helpful.  She is very knowledgeable, helpful and sincerely cares.

– H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

Q: How is your relationship with your IP’s?

A: Amazing!  We love them so much, they are an amazing couple and are considered extended family now!  They send us pictures of the baby and we talk regularly and they plan on coming to visit us soon.

-H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

A: My IP’s are great.  They would do anything to make me comfortable and at the same time they completely respect the fact that I have 3 young kids, a husband, and busy life to lead.

– S.G. San Jose Surrogate

A: I think that we are a good match. I truly believe that they are good people who deserve this, and I believe that they think the same about me. Our exchanges have been nothing but pleasant so far.

-R.I. San Diego Surrogate

Q: What was/is your favorite part about becoming a surrogate?

A: Just like with any “good deed” you do, it makes you feel good. I very proud know that I’m helping my IP’s become a family.

– S.G. San Jose Surrogate

A: Seeing and feeling the complete joy from the IP’s at every single Doctor’s appointment and after he was delivered!  Their joy was a constant reminder of why I wanted to be a surrogate!

-H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

A: The look on the (IP’s) face when she held her new baby for the first time.

– D.F. San Diego Surrogate

Q: Do you have words of advice for women that may be considering becoming a surrogate?

A: Just for them to imagine their life without their babies, and think what that must be like for someone else.

– D.F. San Diego Surrogate

A: I would say: DO IT! Make sure that you have FULL support of those closest to you because you will need them along the way.

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate

A: If you are considering this process and have any hesitations or questions, I would recommend either talking it over with someone you are close to, or calling Family Creations and asking them lots of questions. I feel in my heart that this is the right journey for me to take, and I have the support and love of many people behind me.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

Q: Have you built any relationships with other surrogates?

A: Yes, a few. Nothing too personal, but I am working on that.

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate

Q: Are you a member of any surrogate networking groups? (i.e. meetup, surro moms online, facebook groups)

A: Yes. Facebook, Cafemom.com (Surrogate Mom group)

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate

Q: What will you tell strangers who inquire about your surrogate pregnancy?

A: Most people approach me by saying “wow your brave going for #4…” And I tell them I am brave but not dumb! I tell people very openly that I’m carrying for someone else and what a rewarding experience it is.

– S.G. San Jose Surrogate

A: I’ll just let them know that I am a surrogate and happy to be one!

-R.I.  San Diego Surrogate
A: If a stranger inquires about it I will be happy to tell them about it. I think surrogacy is such a great thing and I hope that more people start learning about it. Many people have heard about it, but few actually consider it.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

Q: Do you have any fun stories you would like to share about surrogacy?

A: It was always fun to see peoples’ reaction when we told them that I was a surrogate!

-H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

Q: Did you have a preference regarding working with a Gay, Lesbian, Single Person or traditional couple?

A: I had no preference. I was open to anyone who wanted the joy of a baby in their lives.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

A: I preferred to work with a traditional couple for religious reasons and I think it takes two to raise a healthy child.

-H.M. Littleton, CO. Surrogate

A: Nope.  I think everyone should be entitled to the happiness that I have with my kids.
.- S.G. San Jose Surrogate

Q: What do you plan on doing with your compensation (i.e. paying bills, down payment on a home, paying debt, college fund for your kids).

A: We’re going to use the money for our kids’ college funds and to pay down some bills.

– G.A. Anaheim Surrogate

A: Mostly just paying down bills and having fun with my kids and going to Disneyland of course! .

– S.G. San Jose Surrogate

A: I have a few plans for it. I will pay off debts first, save for my son’s college and use it for a down payment on a home.

– S.M.  San Jose Surrogate

Aside from qualifying to become a surrogate mother, these women all have at least one thing in common, compassion. No matter the reason, making the choice to nurture and carry a person or couple’s unborn child is a gift that reaps immeasurable gratitude.

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