An emotional bond that develops between a mother and her child is very special and necessary for the child’s development. Forming such a bond is not always immediate. It takes time and long-term nurturing to make that a bond organically flourishes. Bonding gives the baby a sense of security and helps parents feel connected to their new bundle of joy.

Some mothers who cannot conceive naturally and are considering surrogacy often wonder if they will bond with their child. Now the research shows that the attachment between any child and parent can take weeks or months, whether through natural conception or surrogacy. The bond does not always begin in utero or the moment the baby is born.

So rest assured if you are considering surrogacy — the bond will develop with time. Some bonds can be immediate for some mothers, while others stare at the baby wondering if they made a huge mistake. Try not to feel anxious or guilty if a bond takes longer to build.  The process takes time, so be patient.

Bonding also happens in many ways. When your newborn is put in your arms at the hospital and you touch her, gaze at her, and coo at her can begin the bonding process. Even when you feed the baby, bathe the baby or change those diapers — this all adds to the bond that will develop in time.

Many intended parents feel an immediate connection with the baby. Especially since they are involved in the surrogacy process from the start. Being present during the birthing process is especially important for bonding.  Once you get home, spend as much time as possible with your child. Wearing a baby in a baby carrier is a great way to foster bonding as well. Skin-to-skin contact with the newborn is also a great way to calm the baby and help with bonding.

We can offer you support throughout the surrogacy process to help ensure you are connected and bonded with your new baby. We encourage and help with any concerns regarding emotional attachment and can provide tools and resources.

by Julia McConnell | Last updated on : June 26, 2023